Brooklyn private independent school

Restorative Spotlight: By Jennifer Kosnik, Assistant Director of Middle School

Restorative Spotlight: By Jennifer Kosnik, Assistant Director of Middle School

I experience magic in our Berkeley Carroll community, and each person here is a part of that magic for me. I have been here for 20 years, which is 37.5% of my life, and this magic is why I have remained. I feel it when I walk through the hallways and hear students joyfully talking, and sometimes singing, as they lug giant bags through tightly packed corridors. In my time here, I have been able to bring my full self to work each day. 

My two daughters started at Berkeley Carroll when they were 3 and 4 years old. I have watched the amazing teachers at this school educate their whole person, and my heart is full of gratitude for each teacher that they had the privilege to work with. I have had the opportunity to create exciting new curriculum in collaboration with colleagues whom I deeply respect and which has led me down pathways that I would never have gone down, such as preparing and sampling fried vs roasted crickets or collecting data about the origins of life from Comet Halley on a simulated space mission. I have been an advisor, which is a role that I truly relish, because of the bonds that are forged and solidified. During the moments around the campfire of Chewonki the magic bubbles to the surface, with light gleaming off of each individual bubble, rays brought forth in every direction. 

And then there are the moments when I sit with a colleague or a student to talk about something disappointing, painful, or hard that they have experienced to be a witness to the uncomfortable emotions that have arisen. It is in these moments of quiet vulnerability that connection springs forth. As Pema Chödrön, a buddhist monk says, “True connection is only possible through vulnerability.”  My face feels like it shines with pride as I walk past a student that has spoken the truth, overcome an obstacle, repaired a relationship, or responded to a challenging moment with a growth mindset. The connection that was formed between us by my playing a small role in this moment of vulnerability flickers and reappears each time I see them. In turn, the people in this community have allowed me to be vulnerable as my life has unfolded during my time here at Berkeley Carroll. Being able to bring all aspects of myself and my life has provided me with a deep sense of belonging.  

Magic doesn’t always come from easy and happy moments. In fact, the most powerful magic comes when we are called upon to do something hard and challenging. One reason that I love winter so much is because the somberness of the grey days and the early dark nights remind me of the beauty that lies underneath the sadness and the darkness. I often refer to this as the silver lining. Since I have now been on this Earth longer than most people in this room, I know that this silver lining is always on the other side of any moment of challenge, disappointment, or loss. Sometimes you have to be patient and wait a while for the silver lining to shimmer forth but if you do it surely comes. Some people call this resilience, and it is, but there is also a spark of magic that happens when you get to the other side of a hard moment. As you head off to break try to be aware of the magic that surrounds you and lock it in. The way to increase our capacity for it is to let yourself feel it. Know that this magic comes in all shapes and sizes, and it can be blatant or mysterious, and if it seems to be illusive, that is okay too.  All you have to do is wait.